One night after punching a new hole in the sinking ship that is the Kamala Harris campaign — and with no political future of his own to tamp down his impulse to put his mouth on children — President Joe Biden went on a baby-biting binge at a White House Halloween party on Wednesday night, leaving the internet collectively mortified. 

For anyone who’s somehow unaware, Biden has a long, rich history of mouthing, sniffing and grabbing children and women. This video gives just a small sampling of Biden’s uninvited touching that has fully earned him the nickname “Creepy Joe”: 

This is the guy who just called half of the country “garbage” pic.twitter.com/1psHJezs7h

— End Wokeness (@EndWokeness) October 30, 2024

After multiple women came forward to say Biden had made them uncomfortable with his touching, Biden issued a video apology in 2019, saying, “Social norms are changing. I understand that, and I’ve heard what these women are saying. Politics to me has always been about making connections, but I will be more mindful of personal space in the future.”

However, with no second term on the line Wednesday night, Biden gleefully abandoned his personal-space pledge. Given his record, it would have grabbed major attention if Biden only mouthed a single baby. However, like an alcoholic falling off the wagon with great abandon, he indulged himself over and over.  

Biden opened his mouth wide on the thigh of this baby dressed as a chicken (Nathan Howard/Reuters via Fox News)

No doubt realizing this would be one of the last such opportunities he will ever have, the 81-year-old lame duck proceeded to mouth baby after baby that parents served up to him in a receiving line. Those parents appeared to politely tolerate their offspring being christened with presidential saliva, but we can imagine his handlers facepalming as Biden gave way to his compulsion to bestow oral affections.  

This parent smiled as Biden mouthed her baby’s foot…

(Nathan Howard/Reuters via Fox News)

The video is even worse, showing Biden repeating the unsettling act: 

THIS MOTHER FUCKER BIDEN JUST STARTED GNAWING ON ANOTHERRRRRRRR BABY! 🤦‍♂️ pic.twitter.com/rmU6N6DToZ https://t.co/r23MAdBNie

— Tommy G (@TommygWinsAgain) October 31, 2024

This father didn’t seem nearly as enthusiastic as Biden kissed his infant daughter’s toes…

(AFP via Getty Images)

Showing he’s not just a leg-and-foot man, Biden mixed things up and went for this baby’s arm…

The baby-mouthing blitz capped quite a 24-hour stretch for Biden. On Tuesday evening, just as Kamala Harris was delivering her highly-promoted “closing argument” speech on the Capitol Ellipse, Biden undercut his replacement on the Democratic ticket by telling an audience that “the only garbage I see floating out there is [Trump’s] supporters.“

The White House scrambled to claim that Biden was stuttering, and that there should be a possessive apostrophe (supporter’s) — supposedly indicating he was singling out an insult comedian at Trump’s Madison Square Garden rally who likened Puerto Rico to a pile of garbage — many people aren’t buying it, and the Trump campaign is using the gaffe to enormous advantage.

Meanwhile, social media lit up over Biden’s creepy Halloween display, including a positively ghastly yet somehow fully appropriate horror-movie treatment: 

Most people didn’t see what happened after Biden bit that baby. Terrible! pic.twitter.com/B3Qc9pOBU0

— Anthony Cumia (@AnthonyCumia) October 31, 2024

Back off, Biden! pic.twitter.com/IApOtexLMp

— Angela McArdle (@angela4LNCChair) October 31, 2024

No one:

Joe Biden and a baby: pic.twitter.com/Q6MySmcNCl

— 𝐍𝐨𝐫𝐦 𝐂𝐫𝐮𝐢𝐬𝐞 𝕏 (@normposter) October 31, 2024

Biden when he hears there’s gonna be babies at the event: https://t.co/bSUX8BZeTa pic.twitter.com/75c9AW96Lo

— Count Trogula 🩸🧛 (@Laughposting) October 30, 2024

Biden sucks a baby’s feet. Totally normal behavior with a stranger’s baby 🤡pic.twitter.com/kG7PvBqQM1

— BowTiedMara (@BowTiedMara) October 31, 2024

Trump right now: Giving a speech while wearing a garbage vest.

Biden right now: Biting babies at the White House.

These two are not the same. pic.twitter.com/rXzU3YfAp1

— Chandler Crump (@realCCrump) October 30, 2024